Interesting beginning. I love how you made the story grab the readers attention from the very beginning. Would love to read more, and excited for your next update. 
      
interesting beginning. you should put more discription on where they are and what the place looks like and stuff. otherwise i enjoyed your first chapter. 
      
Saiya (Chapter 1) -  Thu 25 Feb 2016 
Interesting 
      
ryoko (Chapter 1) -  Thu 25 Feb 2016 
good start 
  
but its "KIRARA" 
      
Nice start looking forward to next chap 
      
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