your plot needs more time to develop. You details are lackinga little. Its an okay plot, just develop it more.
Your story line sounds a bit too much like Hasu86's Summer Maid. Maybe you should re-create your story line, or try another alternative. You do not want to get caught up in a battle over plots....
Jessica (Chapter 3) - Tue 26 Jan 2010
This story sounds vaguely like Hasu86's Summer Maid.
Bella (Chapter 3) - Tue 26 Jan 2010
OMG!!! :D I love this story and I love love love your writing style it is so fun and upbeat!!!
Bella (Chapter 1) - Mon 25 Jan 2010
I like it so far!! I love your writing style!!! :D
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